sorry for not updating more often.
had a busy few days..
i went melaka instead of cameron highlands
and had like a food fest there..
nyonya, chicken rice balls, seafood, dim sum etc.
saw toy story 3 3D
IT IS A MUST WATCH I TELL YOU!
had thai massage. WOOOOO
i will definitely go back.
its really strange because i'm half nyonya but i don't know
much about it at all, except hearing my mum speak in malay
to her mum and sisters at home..
me and my cousins (our generation)sort of destroyed that clean nyonya line.
LOL. sad to say we don't speak a word of malay, although i do understand
a little, it's not that i do not want to learn.
i did ask my mum to teach me but she keeps insisting she doesn't know
how to teach me what the heck?? nevermind. not like it's super important.
this roots thing is like kind of outdated.


well i hope you're doing fine,
because lately i'm not.
it's like flashback mania all over again.
don't know why.
but my self control has gotten alot better.
i don't go crying or feeling nostalgic and sms/email/msn him.
which i think is totally stupid of me last time
and i still am embarrassed at how clingy i was. it's disgusting.
horrible. can't believe that was me. sigh.
i guess everyone has their weird phases in life.
haha i've had so many of em i can't count.

but sometimes i still feel so much tension inside
don't know why. occasionally when i hear a song on my ipod
when i'm on the bus a tear or two still rolls down my cheek.
but i mean. it's not like he will ever know.
but the tears still continue rolling maybe once in a blue moon
when i pause and have some time to think.
i think it's SO pointless.
but at the same time i can't control my emotions.
yah you think you can, but you end up with a tight chest and
a breakdown a month later.
sigh.
human weaknesses.

i think there is so much more to life
than all these stupid things.
You can go all out, doing stuff, study, play, whatever it is that you do,
but at night, before you go to sleep,
there's no one but you. and you have to face yourself and your problems.
are you happy? or do you feel empty?
I know i feel empty.
sigh.
what would i do without god.
kill myself probably. haha okay i'm too chicken to do that.
maybe become some weird person i don't even know.

happy father's day.
3 words that have no meaning to me.
yeah call me names or whatever.
no mattter how hard i try i still can't relate.